Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
