and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
