they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
