I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
pray to the hookup gods
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
