omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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