Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
