why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
