I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
