i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
