Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
