Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
