shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize