ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
