jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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