Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
