i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
