I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
