And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
