just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
