Just cropdusted the office
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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