Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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