my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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