careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize