Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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