By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
