yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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