Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
