Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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