I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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