those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
