Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
