i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Send help, water and tortillas.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
