It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
