i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
