Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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