fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
