Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
