Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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