i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
