just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
