I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
