but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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