well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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