How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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