May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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