She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
