would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i now understand why vodka
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
