Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.

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(815): View more from Illinois

This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.

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(616): View more from Michigan

every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Dude, I think my check liver light just came on

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(609): View more from New Jersey

she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Do they take checks?

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."

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(210): View more from Texas

he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?

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