where am i from again
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
