i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
