another moral hangover. fuck.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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