Please, let me fuck your mom
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think my moral compass just broke
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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