see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize