the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
