you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
