The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
