Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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