The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
