The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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