I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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