that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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