Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize