Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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