So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
