she looked like the before picture.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize