A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
