The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
