carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
