Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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