5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
