have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
