things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
