yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
