i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
