how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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