how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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