I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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