I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
