Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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