i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
