I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
