that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
