The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
