I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The Olympian is in my bed
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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