Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
