Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize